I agree that women usually do this work, but in my last relationship the situation was not so: her day was the daily topic of discussion, I bore the "hermeneutic labor" of wondering if I could do more and if my day could be discussed, etc. It was new for me, and honestly, it usually felt good in the sense that it felt generous and loving. Until she left after 30 months, without much explanation (or blame, to be fair). She seemed to want more.

Although I know that my situation is unusual and anecdotal, it made it difficult for me to read your piece with its gendered framework. I would have found its excellent observations more compelling if the subtitle was the title, and the focus was the labor imbalance, whatever the direction.

As always, I appreciate your brilliance, your eloquence, and your research.