I don't disagree with anything you say, T. V., though I'm also in an environment (a university) where forgiveness, mediation, and restoration are virtually unheard of. In the absence of those possibilities, you are left with perpetrators, victims, penalties, and punishment. There are certainly circumstances in which the offender does not apologize and does nothing to deserve forgiveness. And egregious acts should be punished. But I tend to see more offense taken and grievance held in circumstances where the offender would gladly apologize and be restored.

I think we're both advocating for balance. You're emphasizing that forgiveness should not be automatic, and I'm emphasizing that it should not be discarded.

If I've misread you, please forgive me!