I first visited Haywood Street Congregation in spring 2011, Xeneris, about 18 months after it had begun, and it became the example of what church was supposed to be for me. The staff emphasizes that it is not a service-providing ministry (although services are provided) but a "ministry of relationship." It tries to overturn the model of the soup-kitchen, clothes-closet, where the "rich" help the "poor" and everyone knows their place. In their theology, we're all broken and all beautiful.

That's partly why I wasn't trying to "help" Debra find her way forward. I never intended to try to fix her problems; I just wanted to provide a safe place and a supportive friendship. But I ran up against my limits.

Thank you for reading and responding, my friend.