I'll share with you the same "joke" I tell my students who claim they're bad at languages, Klara Jane: I tell them that can't be true because I understand exactly what they're saying. I consider that a "serious joke," because I do think that we're all hardwired for language. I tend to think that being "bad at languages" often means "I had bad language teachers."

My own experience influences this assumption. I took French in high school for no real reason. My mom had studied French in high school, and the French teacher was very popular. So I took French...for three years. When I graduated from high school, I could not understand or say anything in French, because we didn't do French. We talked about French, and watched French filmstrips, and did projects about France. But I didn't know the language at all. And I concluded, reasonably, that I was "bad at language."

And then I got to college and started Greek. And I was good at it. Really good. And then I learned Latin. And then I learned German, all in college. It turns out that I'm pretty good at language, when I have the opportunity to learn it.

But I hear you. It is certainly true that some people have an easier time than others, just like in math or music or many other disciplines. I consider myself fortunate to have this ability.

I've not always been a good partner in relationships. In fact, I've been a bad partner: selfish, critical, unkind. I've suffered the consequences as well, and I've learned and grown and tried my very best to become aware of all of it, and to become open, patient, vulnerable, compassionate, generous, and gracious. But lately I've experienced something that may be similar to what you describe: I'm not sure that the people I meet appreciate my good qualities. I'm open to the possibility that A) those qualities are not very unique and plenty of men demonstrate as much or more compassion, vulnerability, etc. or B) they're invisible or C) women want something else that I lack, even if I'm not sure what that is. I find that a little disorienting. So I hear you. What is the problem? I assume the small size of the pool of options is the real problem for you, Klara Jane, because it's hard to imagine that you would have trouble finding a complementary and appreciative equal in Asheville or any larger city, like Charlotte or Durham or Raleigh (to limit myself to NC).

If Jon wanted a woman at the church, however, he would have taken that route. He clearly wants you. For what that's worth.