My 103-year-old grandmother died just a few weeks ago, peacefully, in full possession of her faculties. She'd broken her wrist in a fall a few months earlier and complained much more than usual. And my mother was really bothered by those complaints. I never quite understood. I mean, my grandmother was old and uncomfortable, of course she's expressing that. But yes, you've helped me see an answer, Conni. My mom just wanted her mom to keep being that same mother she'd always known and to "go on to glory" with equanimity, not griping. She wanted her mom to be her mom, not a complex, uncomfortable, irritable, exhausted woman.

I didn't understand it then, but I think maybe I do now. Thank you for that.