No, Sara, your writing is not distracting in that way. I never asked myself what you intended to say. That may be because things "sound" right to you, as to anyone who is a native speaker. You don't need the names of things to use them correctly, most of the time. (That "half quotation mark" is an apostrophe, by the way.)

Your use of ellipses, however, is excessive and it doesn't have the effect that you want. You suggest that you want to recreate the effect of your thought, and I think that's exactly what an ellipse is for. But there's an artificiality in that use, because most of our written work reflects not just our thought in the moment, but after reflection and polish. In that circumstance, there is far less need for such a pause. If you use them more selectively, the ones you use will probably be more effective.

This is not a piece written entirely in clichés, but it explores how they can take over: it's a short story by Tobias Wolff from 1995: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1995/09/25/bullet-in-the-brain