Thank you, Madison. Vulnerability and openness are relatively new practices for me; had I revealed more of them two years ago, my beloved probably would not have experienced what she did, and may not have left. I can be defensive and closed, though I'm aware of it.

I should add, I want to be more vulnerable. I want to write more vulnerably. This is not a pose adopted in the hopes of winning her back: it's clearly a better way to be, if my goal is to experience more human connection and meaning.

Thanks for recognizing and naming this. That means a lot, and I appreciate you. Thank you for reading and responding.