This piece was a marvel, M.J.

First, for its beauty. It's honest and clear and transparent and raw. It's sparklingly eloquent. It moves from "dark" to "light" and carries your readers with you.

Second, I did not know Brian Doyle's essay "Joyas Voladoras," and I was deeply moved by it. I almost gave it up after following the link, because I wasn't sure why I was reading about hummingbird hearts--and then, the final paragraph.

Third, every condolence for the stillbirth of your first child, which I did not know. I can just barely imagine it, because 16 years ago, in spring 2008, my then wife and I experienced a miscarriage of our second child. It was different, of course, but some of the consequences you cite were the same: the pain, the anger, and for us especially, the marital tension. I didn't know what to think and I still don't; and I didn't know what to say, and I usually didn't. (I mentioned the miscarriage in a conversation with Doug recently, and he didn't remember: that's how repressed I was with it.)

I love your conclusions and the place you've reached and the way you're sharing that with those around you, and with us.

All best to you, my friend.